(Phone rings)

Registrar: Registrar's office, how many I help you?

Old Lady: I am calling from [place removed] and I have found a van Gogh!

Registrar: (in a polite, but skeptical tone): Really?

Old Lady: Yes! It has writing on it and let me tell you what it says . . . Vincent van Gogh, 1853-1890, The Olive Orchard, 1889 . . . I don't know what this means, but there are a bunch of numbers: 73 x 92 cm.

Registrar: Those are the dimensions in centimeters, but . . .

Old Lady (interrupts): Well, I don't know what that means. It also says oil on canvas and from the National Gallery of Art, Washington, D.C., Chester Dale Collection. I don't understand why it says oil on canvas because it is a piece of very shiny paper and I have no idea who Chester Dale is, but he doesn't live in [her hometown].

Registrar: Ma'am, you have a reproduction of a van Gogh painting that is in the National Gallery of Art in Washington, D.C.

Old Lady: This is a real van Gogh picture! It has his name and dates printed on it!

Registrar: Ma'am, it is a poster of a real van Gogh painting. The actual painting is in the museum in Washington. They sell posters of it in the gift shop.

Old Lady: No, I don't think you are right. It is a real one. It was in a frame with glass!  How much do you think it is worth?

Registrar: Well, I believe they sell the posters in the National Gallery gift shop for a couple of dollars.

Old Lady: Van Gogh's are worth more than a couple of dollars. I don't think you know what you are talking about.

Registrar: I am sorry, but I am looking at the National Gallery's website right now and I can see the real painting; you have a reproduction.

Old Lady: Give me the number of that National Gallery place. Where is it again? I will call them and they will tell me that I am right.

Registrar: The number is [removed] and it is in Washington, D.C. Good luck with that.